You forced me to come to Arizona. I loathe Arizona.

"He's paid to not look surprised."

I’ve been trying to figure out how to approach an end assessment of the late Dollhouse. I have no strong feelings, probably because I wasn’t that huge a fan of it the first place. Sure it had a (mostly) stellar cast, and it threw out some lofty issues to discuss and debate (Free will! Identity! Sexual slavery!), but it was more a curiosity (look what Joss is doing now!) than a story I could get emotionally involved in (in a completely sane way, of course).

Didn’t help that Joss & co. were forced to end their story early and the plotholes were many and HUGE:

Why was Boyd the bringer of the apocalypse? Where’s his mad scientist origin story? (Was he even a scientist?) What exactly was the sitch with Dr. CliveClaire and Boyd? Was she always Clive as Claire and Whiskey? Why would Boyd, in protecting his walking-talking fountain of youth, allow Echo to be put in so many dangerous situations? What was with the creepy ‘you’re my family’ talk? (Even Paul? I mean, he just tried to kill Paul!) And what about a contingency plan? He was an evil genius, so he should’ve had a backup of himself somewhere super-secret and safe should, you know, he be made into a human bomb. Evil geniuses usually think ahead, right?

I can’t help but thing that Joss’s original plan for Boyd was something different but the truncated season (and I would imagine, the reduced guest star budget – no more Carradines for you!) forced him to turn to an already-there character/actor rather than introduce someone new…so TWIST! I guess? Lennix was great as evil, but there’s only so much an actor can do without a viable, earned backstory.

How did Caroline get the funds for all her hot clothes and solo commando missions? ID/credit card theft a la the Supernatural boys? I kind of hope she had a secret benefactor who figure in later in the story.

How did Adelle get there? If there’s any glaringly absent backstory, it’s hers. Of course, Olivia Williams and her arms are so amazing, I’m happy as long she’s in her immaculate wardrobe and toting a gun.

Wasn’t Echo told to smash the chair after she (ugh) uploaded Paul to her overly crowded brain? That chair was still intact when Fox abruptly cut to the next show.** Sloppiness or an opening for future stories elsewhere, like comics?


I like romance with my sci-fi but sometimes I feel like Joss watched more Days of Our Lives
than I did as a kid. Why did I have to watch Tony and Priya futzing around Topher’s workshop discussing their relationship in the penultimate ep instead of learning just what the hell Boyd’s deal was or seeing Adele’s reaction when she found out who Boyd really was? I felt cheated.

Of course, I never bought the doomed OTP of Echo & Paul as they were so thoroughly boring and awful and idiotic. It was even worse when Topher had to clip Paul's ‘lurve nerves’ or whatever to make room in his brain for…shit, I don’t know. And then to have Echo pining for him?? Gah. Paul was even worse as the patronizing manipulator of doormat Mellie. She offs herself to save him?! Her mad ninja skillz were the only remotely interesting things about her! Kill him! KILL HIM WITH YOUR FLOWERS IN A VASE!!!!!

(Honestly, I was always astonished a guy that stupid and obvious stayed alive that long.)

And, then, once Paul was finally offed, we got to see Echo have an Adama-esque level meltdown minus the paint and antique model ships. I guess she felt bad about not saying how she felt about him? I… *sigh* So she uploads him…and will she be yelling at herself when they fight about leaving dirty dishes in the sink in her head? I really didn’t get how that was going to work.

Even the Tony/Priya relationship stuff seemed out of place – hell, downright laughable – with the dystopian backdrop. (And of course that's Tony’s kid. Why reveal it like it was surprising?) This is when the character aspect gets in the way of plot, which was of primary importance in the final episode. I would’ve rather gotten hints on the relationship stuff and more solid storytelling when it came to the plot. (Writing was not all that good for this series. Joss is still great with a quip, but in general the writing was mediocre to awful. More than once it felt like the script faltered under too many metaphors and too much preaching.)

Speaking of MadMaxVictor and his cyberpunk babelfish, the last few eps were a holy wreck of (the writers’?) fave sci fi films and shows rolled in an overflowing cannoli of heretofore unmixed elements:
Zombies: the Dolls (natch), Prya’s evil doctor/rapist in her Attic hallucinations.
BSG: Cylon Tanks of Goo™ in the attic, with Clive as the mainfraim/hybrid (ENDOFLINE)
Frankenstein: Obvious, only more with the brain zappy than the sewn together body parts.
That Whedon Touch: Ginger lesbians, double-handed neck breaks, evil white men (except for Boyd. Progress in a post-racial Obama world?), ending his stories with widespread wanton death and destruction.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy parts of this last stretch of eps:
REED!
ALPHA! (Who rehabbed himself in Reno. Of course.)
Victor as Topher
Adelle mothering Topher
Topher as Martyred Nerd (Was the red shirt he was wearing a Trek shoutout?)
Scut Farkus as the leader of the Resistance
How Tuscon is the center of all Dollhouse-an evil, like how Burbank is the center of international espionage on Chuck.

So, Dollhouse, you collapsed under the weight of Joss's pretensions and Fox's stupidity. There's always my Firefly DVDs.



*Say maybe he was an unfairly disgraced cop/fed who had a daughter he never saw/lost to violence/general badness because he was so devoted to the job, which is why he was so protective of Echo. Cliché, yes, but I think Lennix could have sold it.

**The end? Ya didn't have two seconds for a proper fade out Fox? It's a fucking cooking show!!!