You're just two white stripes.

Finally, after years of hearing about it, I've seen Ladies and Gentlemen the Fabulous Stains.

It's not a good movie. Music producer Lou Adler wanted to direct a movie so...here it is. And the script is kind of a mess (apparently, not the original writer's fault and she had her name taken off the credits for for the original release). But it's fascinating nonetheless. Fifteen-year-old (!) Diane Lane is an orphaned teen who has a punk band (with no drummer) that creates a cultural firestorm. She's angry, confrontational, and unapologetic, and amazing.


Wish we knew where she got the "We don't put out" bit - was she attacked? is it all just an act? She's not virginal as we can plainly see from her getting it on with Ray Winstone in the shower (for real naked! at 15! what the hell?). Is it a reaction to the small town-there's-nothing-else-to-do-but-fool-around-and-get-knocked-up life path? This, like Mama Mia! probably shouldn't be analyzed to closely.

I will say that I'm completely bummed that there's no soundtrack available.*



Holy crap, that's Ray Winstone! Looking all hot and dangerous without aid of CGI! And he kinda rocks as a singer too!

The bit at the end - shot two years after the rest of the film - with the Stains cleaned up as New Wave pop band? You could totally get away with Lane's outfit today:


Walk down Bedford Avenue on a Friday night and I guarantee you'll see some iteration of it.

Oh, and I don't want to forget the one bit that is actually a moving piece of cinema: Christine Lahti, playing Laura Dern's mother, speaks to a television interviewer about her admiration for her daughter and nieces making a life for themselves, 'havin' fun,' and being icons for a new generation. Lahti is such a magnificent actress, never overplays, and ALWAYS makes me cry.

And I leave you with, again, Ray Winstone:

And Ray Winstone:

I KNOW.

(Get the DVD. Listen to Diane and Laura's commentary. LOVE.)


*You can hear the songs and think of at least five bands who were clearly influenced by this movie. This year's Stains-lovers: the Vivian Girls.